Legal Life: Networking —The Necessary Evil We All Love to Hate

Legal Life: The Trials, Tribulations, and Triumphs of the Everyday Attorney” is your monthly invitation to laugh, commiserate, and connect with the real stories behind life in the law. 

Walking into a networking event always feels like the first day of kindergarten. Instead of “Who’s your favorite Power Ranger?” it’s “What area of law do you practice?” You don’t know anyone, and even if you arrived with a friend, they’re liable to bail or disappear halfway through, leaving you stranded among strangers. If you’re lucky, you’ll latch onto someone for support; if you’re less lucky, someone will latch onto you. One attorney confided that she hates it when law students glom on like lovesick puppies. The truth is, nobody wants to go it alone at one of these things.

Chairs, Please

Let’s address the obvious: the whole affair is mostly standing. After a full day in court, two hours on your feet chatting isn’t networking; it’s an endurance sport. Golf tournaments give you a tiny car to ride in, but let’s not pretend golf is an ideal model. Those courses devour natural land, guzzle water, use pesticides, and make neighborhoods less affordable by locking up huge swaths of real estate for a pastime that serves only a tiny fraction of the public.

The Photo Trap

Then there’s the camera menace. There’s always someone with a camera snapping away, not a trained photographer by any means, just someone who will dump 200 raw photos on social media. Eyes closed, mouths open, and, if fate is unkind, wardrobe malfunctions that no one warned you about. “Look at all the fun we had!” these posts proclaim while you ask AI how to hack the bar association’s LinkedIn account. (The answer: “Sorry, but I cannot help with that request.”)

Doing, Not Standing

This is why high school mock trial season and events like the “All In For Justice” poker night are a breath of fresh air. Go, move, interact with other attorney coaches, or play cards. You’ll be too engaged to notice how long you’ve been at it. 

If We Must Network…

I picked up a few tricks to make networking not just bearable but, dare I say, genuinely useful at Sonya Sigler’s “How to Be Successful” session at the most recent California Lawyers Association Annual Meeting. Sonya recommends:

• Stand By The Organizer: The event organizer is invested in guests having a positive experience, and will often introduce newcomers to key contacts. 
• Start Conversations In The Drink Line: It’s one spot where people won’t leave midway through your sentence. It also relieves pressure to keep a conversation going forever.
• Be Honest About Nerves: Skip the old routine of forced enthusiasm. Truth-telling (“I’m super nervous at these events!”) breaks the ice and instantly shifts awkwardness into authenticity.
• Have A 3-Word Self-Description: Sonya’s “I’m a recovering attorney and author” is a memorable example. Think of your own trio. Mine is “I’m a litigator and reluctant extrovert.”
• Introduce others when names escape you: If memory fails, introduce the person by reference (“She’s a real expert on ethics issues!”) and let them fill in the rest. You stay sincere, and the pressure’s off.
• The graceful exit: Ready to circulate? Just say, “It was great talking to you, I’m going to circulate the room.” This signals a connection without awkwardness.

In sum, networking may remain a necessary evil, but it doesn’t have to be a solo stress test. With a few purposeful strategies, it’s possible to transform these events from generic gatherings into real career accelerators. So, here’s my challenge: let’s make networking a little less painful. Grab a chair, dodge the camera, and if someone gloms on for the night? Well, half the room is probably wishing someone would do the same for them. 

Stephanie S. Germani, Esq. practices landlord-tenant law and stood for 3 hours straight last week at a networking event.