Notes From The New Generation
Dear Counsel,
Somewhere along the way, you may have been taught that to be an effective attorney for your clients, you need to put on a tough front. You’re taught to be the aggressive, trailblazing lawyer who fights for their clients like a warrior. Loyal, brave, and true. But within that, we often forget that at the end of the day, we’re simply human. We all feel the weight of being the person who puts the needs of others before our own.
That heavy expectation oftentimes reminds me of the Disney movie “Mulan,” and quite honestly, it’s been on my mind for the past few weeks as well. After the matchmaker scene where Mulan felt that she completely butchered her chances at honoring her family, she stands alone outside in the rain. She’s disappointed, overwhelmed, and questioning where she fits in this world of being “perfect.” (Sounds like imposter syndrome, doesn’t it?) For a split moment, our protagonist lets herself feel it and she cries. That moment might resonate for us lawyers, I’m sure you and I have both felt that once or twice.
But then something shifts for Mulan. For a moment, the tears stop. In a split second, she wipes her tears away, slashes her hair off with her father’s sword and understands her fate. She is going to fight for her father, and she steps into the role meant for her. Honestly, when the job gets tough, I think about this scene. Mulan cried, had a moment of silent defeat, and after she gives herself a moment to be human, she “locks in.” It gives me chills to think about that cliché Disney moment, when vulnerability suddenly gives way to strength, because that transformation is something we experience every day in this profession.
I think back to watching that movie as a kid for the first time and that moment changed something in me. At a young age I could appreciate Mulan’s sacrifice for her father, wanting to keep him “standing tall.”
Counselor, I’m sure you and I have felt this constant back and forth, wanting to be that backbone for your client, but feeling the pressure that comes with it. It’s a profession of giving yourself and oftentimes that is coupled with carrying the weight of someone’s battle on your shoulders. But if you’ve felt a moment where your work is accompanied with tear-filled eyes know that you are not weak. On the contrary, it means you care, and somewhere in between an attorney who cares and an attorney who works hard is an unstoppable attorney. I’d like to think you and I both have that, regardless of how tough it may be.
Our clients may approach us in the worst times of their lives, and the pressure is on. It’s up to us to carry the responsibility of advocating for them. But somewhere along the journey of being the greatest advocate to our clients, we’ve been taught to tuck away that emotion that might bring on some tears when the burden is too heavy. But I’ll tell you something right now counselor, just in case you haven’t heard this in a while, go ahead and let those tears flow, but then lock in.
Being a resilient attorney doesn’t mean you never feel the weight of your work. It’s what makes you human after all. But instead, it’s about what you do with your feelings afterward. Being a legal warrior on behalf of your clients doesn’t mean becoming emotionally unavailable. In reality, your emotions might be driven by your passion to make a change and may in fact sharpen your abilities as an effective advocate for your clients.
My ask of you all this month goes a little bit like this: when the job gets tough, when you’re tired and begin questioning every decision you’ve ever made, I want you to take a step back and allow yourself, just for a split second, to feel the weight of your battle, and fight on anyway.
Because the strongest attorneys are the ones who feel the weight of their work and choose to carry it anyway.
Until next time,
Steph, Esq.
