Legal Life: Venom and Vernacular

Legal Life: The Trials, Tribulations, and Triumphs of the Everyday Attorney” is your monthly invitation to laugh, commiserate, and connect with the real stories behind life in the law. 
If you’ve spent any time around a courthouse, you know lawyers have a name for everything. We love labels. “Associate.” “Partner.” “Of counsel.” “Rainmaker.” But when it comes to new attorneys, the nicknames get especially creative. My friend Harrison recently told me that new attorneys are called “baby rattlesnakes.” Why? Because, just like their reptilian counterparts, new lawyers can’t regulate their venom.

The Venom Analogy

It’s a vivid image, isn’t it? A baby rattlesnake, all coiled up and ready to strike, but without the experience to know when to hold back. New attorneys, fresh from law school, are armed with knowledge and ambition, but sometimes they haven’t yet learned the subtle art of discretion. They strike hard — sometimes too hard! — because they don’t know any better. The result? A lot of unnecessary drama in the courtroom and more than a few raised eyebrows from seasoned judges.

Other Names for New Attorneys

Of course, “baby rattlesnake” isn’t the only moniker floating around the legal world. Here are a few others I’ve heard:

Greenhorns: Because, well, they’re still a little green.

First-years: The classic, clinical term. No venom implied, but plenty of nerves.

Cubs: Young, eager, and sometimes a little too hungry for their own good.

Sharks-in-training: They’ve got the teeth, but they’re still learning how to swim with the big fish.

Why Do We Name Them?

Of course, the legal world saves some of its most colorful nicknames for those who’ve been around the block. The “rainmakers” are envied for bringing in the big clients. The “bulldogs” are feared for their tenacity in court. And then there are the “ambulance chasers.” A term that’s been following personal injury lawyers around for decades, usually whispered with a mix of disdain and reluctant admiration. It’s a reminder that, in this business, reputation sticks to you like a shadow.

Why do we do this? Maybe it’s our way of making sense of a profession that’s equal parts tradition and chaos. Maybe it’s just easier to call someone a “mouthpiece” than to admit you’re a little jealous of their closing argument. Or maybe, deep down, we all remember what it felt like to be the baby rattlesnake in the room: eager, raw, and just a little bit dangerous.

So, whatever they call you, wear it with pride, just remember to keep an eye on your venom. In law, as in life, it’s not the nickname that matters. It’s what you do once you’ve earned it.

Stephanie S. Germani, Esq., grew up in New York, where rattlesnakes sometimes showed up behind the pool, and, when they did, she always ran the other way. In the legal world, maybe that’s the lesson: None of us should be the kind of lawyer people want to run from.