Ask the Mentor

Scripts You Need for Those Difficult Conversations 

Dear Mentor: 

What’s the best way to handle bossy clients and their unreasonable demands? I have a client who demands that I do X, Y and Z, but X and Y are illegal, and the client can’t afford Z! What should I say? 

Signed, 

Not A Puppet 

Dear Not A Puppet: 

Clear, confident communication is key with difficult clients, especially when their demands are illegal or unaffordable. You need practical scripts — mastering these challenging conversations is necessary for both your professionalism and business success. The more you practice, the easier it will become. Remember: You’re both an attorney and a businessperson.

Handling Unreasonable or Illegal Demands

When a client requests something illegal or unpayable:

“My role is to listen to your legal problem and propose lawful solutions. What you’re asking for isn’t permitted by law, so I can’t do that for you. However, I can suggest alternatives that comply with the law. Would you like to discuss those?”

When a client persists with inappropriate requests:

“As I mentioned, I can’t pursue that. My oath requires me to follow the law. Would you like to discuss another approach?”

Setting Boundaries

If the client continues making unreasonable demands, you’re dealing with someone who will never listen to you. You don’t want this person as a client: 

“We both need to agree on a path forward. Since that’s not happening, I’m not the right attorney for you. If you’d like, I can refer you to the County Bar’s Lawyer Referral Service.”

If the potential client insists you represent them:

“Both parties must feel comfortable moving forward. It’s clear we aren’t aligned, so here’s the Lawyer Referral Service number if you’d like another referral.”

Billing

Other uncomfortable situations arise around money and the cost of our legal services. It can be an awkward subject but to really succeed in this business, you have to learn to talk about it. 

Don’t rely on your retainer agreement – rather than clear, in-person discussions – to communicate your billing procedure and the client’s responsibility to pay their bill each month. You need to clearly discuss these matters with the potential client before you take them on as a client and begin work. While your client may sign the retainer agreement and return it to you, does that mean she read and really understands her responsibility to pay her outstanding balancewithin X number of days each month, as required by the agreement? Nope. 

You need to have a clear discussion with your client about how legal fees work. This is critical since legal fees are usually open-ended; neither of you knows how much in legal fees will be incurred. It’s not like buying a car. Does the client understand that? Does the client understand she is agreeing to pay her outstanding balance each month? Have you actually discussed it? Have you also determined whether the client has the ability to pay your bill each month as legal work is performed? From your discussions, have you determined that the client has the funds to pay your initial retainer and the additional fees to be incurred as the case progresses? Initially, two things can help determine this. 

First, pre-screen clients by having your assistant tell them your initial retainer. “Her initial retainer is between $7,500 and $15,000 depending on the case.” If they can’t afford it, they certainly won’t be able to afford ongoing fees. 

Second, charge for your initial consultation. I nearly always do this because I provide a lot of legal information and advice during the initial consultation, and charging for it communicates that my legal services are valuable. 

If you don’t learn to talk openly and honestly about attorney’s fees and the client’s responsibility for payment, you’re ignoring the business side of your legal career. You need a script! 

When a client demands that you wait for initial payment: 

“It’s not my policy to wait to be paid. I need to receive a retainer up front before I begin work.” (This may not apply to contingent fee and other types of cases, but your policy on any costs to be paid by the client in those cases should be communicated.) 

When your client doesn’t understand their obligation to pay their outstanding balance: 

“Here’s how legal fees work at my firm. You’ll pay a retainer up front that will be used to pay for upcoming legal work. I’ll send you a detailed bill each month describing the legal work I did and showing how much of the retainer money was used to pay that bill.

Once the retainer money is used up, you’ll need to pay your balance each month within X days. You’ll also need to replenish your retainer upon request, especially if a big project is coming up like taking a deposition or preparing for a hearing or trial. We’ll discuss those big projects as we go along in the case.

If you don’t pay your monthly balance or replenish your retainer when asked, I’ll need to stop performing legal work on your case and withdraw as your attorney. If that happens, you’ll need to sign a Substitution of Attorney form substituting me out as your attorney of record. Please note, though – I’ll make sure no deadlines or critical tasks are missed if that happens, and I’ll make sure you’re informed in writing about upcoming dates, deadlines, etc.” 

If the potential client balks at any of this, LISTEN! They are telling you who they are: a client who is not going to pay her bill. If you choose to become their attorney anyway and they (predictably) refuses to pay their bill, they also may refuse to sign the Substitution of Attorney form letting you out of the case. You’ll have to file a motion and ask the Court to let you out. 

In the meantime, you’ll have to continue representing them, making sure their interests are not prejudiced. In other words, you’ll need to keep working for free for the client who warned you, in the beginning, that you’d be working for free. And if you wait too long to file a motion to be relieved as counsel (e.g., too close to a hearing or trial date or discovery deadline, etc.), the Court may deny your motion and you’ll be stuck working even longer for free. 

Bottom Line: DO NOT rely on your retainer agreement to “discuss” the client’s payment obligations and what will happen if she fails to pay. Discuss it face-to-face so you can ensure the client clearly understands her obligation to pay for your legal services and has the means and intention to do so. 

When the potential client demands to know how much the case is going to cost and how long it’s going to take: 

“I’m sorry, I wish I could give you an accurate estimate, but I can’t. There are too many unknowns. It depends on things like how the other side behaves in the case, how many times we have to go to Court, how long the trial may be, how backed up the Court calendar is, how extensive and complicated the evidence is, how much discovery will be needed to obtain documents and information from the other side, how responsive you are to requests for information and documents we’ll need, etc. There are just too many unknowns to give you an accurate prediction.” 

You can say that you’ve had similar cases cost X dollars in attorney’s fees and taken a year to complete, and that you’ve had cases cost 10 times that amount and taken 10 years to complete. If you do give the client a range, make it broad, and remember – they’ll only remember the number at the low end of the range. 

When the client complains about the case taking too long, or says things like, “I’m paying you all this money and nothing is being done”: 

This happens when you fail to communicate with the client on a regular basis about what’s going on in the case, next steps, how the case plan is changing, what legal work is being done and why, etc. Clients are usually not attorneys themselves – they don’t know how the legal system works. It’s your job to explain it to them and regularly communicate what’s going on. 

In my decades of practicing family law, I’ve taken over many cases from a prior attorney and you’d be shocked to hear how many times I heard this from my new client: “I’ve learned more from you about my case and how this process works in the last hour than I learned in the entire time my last attorney was representing me.” 

Now, either I’m a great “explainer” (which I am) OR the last attorney wasn’t communicating well or regularly with the client (or the client just wasn’t listening). It’s our job to communicate well with the client. When they don’t seem to understand what we’re talking about, it’s our fault, not theirs. They’re not lawyers. They don’t know how the legal system works – it’s not their job. You need to make sure your client truly understands what’s going on in his case. 

I find in-person meetings especially helpful, as they help ensure you have your client’s full attention. Did you know that at least 55% of communication is non-verbal? It that’s so, how can you tell during a phone call if a client is really understanding what you’re saying, and if you’re really understanding them? 

At the outset, explain to the client that you’ll have regular meetings and discussions with him about how the case is going; the legal work you’re doing, the attorney’s fees and costs being incurred, and why they’re necessary; how the case plan is changing and why; what work is coming up and the anticipated cost of same: 

“It’s impossible to know how the case is going to go at the beginning. The initial game plan is going to change. Maybe opposing counsel will bury us in expensive discovery requests, or file motion after motion we’ll need to respond to. On the other hand, the other side may be completely reasonable and we’ll be able to wrap up the case in 6 months. Who knows? 

The point is this – we’ll discuss the case plan and how it’s evolving on a regular basis. That way you’ll know what’s going on. Different options will arise. When that happens, I’ll let you know the pros and cons as well as the estimated attorney’s fees and costs so you can decide how you want to proceed. Some things we’ll have to do, like responding to discovery or a motion filed by the other side; other things will be optional, and we won’t do them if you can’t afford to pay the attorney’s fees for them. The point is, we’ll continue to discuss what’s going on so you’ll be fully informed.” 

Telling your client you’re going to have these regular discussions, and then actually doing it, is part of your job (the duty to keep your client informed). It’s also beneficial for another important reason: it justifies your bills. The client will have a tough time refusing to pay his outstanding balance if you’ve regularly discussed what you’re doing and why. 

Also, if a big project is coming up like preparing a motion or taking a deposition, it’s an opportunity to explain to your client that he’ll need to replenish his retainer in advance of you doing the work, as required by your retainer agreement. If he balks, it’s a serious red flag and thankfully you’ve caught it early. You’ll then need to discuss withdrawing from the case and taking steps in that direction rather than doing legal work for which you’re never going to be paid. 

When your client ignores his bill or refuses to pay it, say this: 

“Hi Joe. It’s been 10 days since my bill was sent out, and I haven’t received payment. What’s going on?” 

Then shut up and listen to the answer. If it seems to be an oversight: 

“Great, I’ll have my assistant email you a credit card authorization slip for your outstanding balance and the $XX needed to pay your balance/replenish your retainer. When can you get that back to us?” 

If the client says he’s going to pay by a certain date and then doesn’t, or won’t take your call or respond to your email reminding him about payment, you need to take action. Don’t wait – it will only get worse: 

“Joe, as you know from our discussions at the beginning and our retainer agreement, my bill needs to be paid within 5 days of receipt each month and your retainer needs to be replenished upon request. We’ve discussed the upcoming legal work that needs to be done, but I can’t continue to work unless I’m paid.

I’ll have my assistant email you a Substitution of Attorney form for you to sign and return. You will become your own attorney when I file this form with the Court. You can get a different attorney later if you wish. Can you sign it and get it back to me in the next couple of days? I don’t want to have to file a motion to withdraw where I will need to ask the Judge to let me out of the case as your attorney. Under our retainer agreement, you’d be responsible for the extra attorney’s fees for me to do that, in addition to your outstanding balance.” 

Letting the client ignore his unpaid balance causes another significant problem: it discourages settlement. This is a pet peeve of many judges, and of attorneys who insist their clients promptly pay their bills. The unpaying client thinks he can just continue litigating because there are no consequences for him; all your legal work is free in his mind because you’re not making him pay! 

When you insist that your client pay his outstanding balance or you’ll need to stop representing him, it makes settlement a lot more attractive, since settling will stop further attorney’s fees from being incurred. As a judge recently told me to relay to attorneys taking my workshops: “Make your clients pay their bills! It will help the case settle.” 

When the client isn’t clear on what exactly you’re doing for him: 

Getting back to the bossy client who demands you perform inappropriate or illegal work, “scope of work” popped into my head. It’s important to discuss and include in your retainer agreement exactly what you’ll be doing for the client. Be specific rather than general. Don’t just throw something in there and assume the client will read it and you’ll both be on the same page. 

Going back to basic contract law, there needs to be a meeting of the minds between you and the client. What are you going to do for him? Does the client understand what that means? The client needs to understand from your discussions there may be different options, and both attorney and client need to agree on the scope of work. 

If you’ve had a clear conversation with the potential client, you will have learned they can’t afford your representation throughout the entire case. However, they can afford to have you represent them at an upcoming hearing where important orders will be made. Discuss limited scope representation with the client, as an option. 

In conclusion, clear and regular communication with your clients is key. Hopefully, the above scripts will give you the words you need to have these tough, but necessary, conversations and succeed in the business part of practicing law. 

What topics do you find difficult to discuss with your clients? Email me with your questions or comments about that or any other topic at Lesa@ NewAttorneySecrets.com.