Ask the Mentor

Introducing a new feature in For The Record: “Ask the Mentor” by attorney Lesa Christenson, CFLS. With nearly four decades of legal experience and a reputation for integrity, mentorship, and client advocacy, Attorney Christenson brings her practical wisdom directly to our readers. Each month, she’ll tackle the real questions and challenges faced by new and seasoned lawyers alike, offering candid advice and actionable tips for navigating the complexities of legal practice. Whether you’re stepping into the courtroom for the first time or looking to sharpen your professional skills, Attorney Christenson’s column is designed to support your growth and confidence as a legal professional. We’re excited to welcome her voice and expertise to our newsletter community.

ASK THE MENTOR

Welcome to “Ask the Mentor,” a monthly column that answers your burning questions about practicing law, and gives you the tips and tricks you need to be the best lawyer you can be!

“Terrified of Going to Court”

Dear Mentor:
This is really embarrassing but I’m terrified of going to court. My heart starts pounding and my hands start sweating before I even arrive. I’m a second-year lawyer and I’ve been to court several times. Shouldn’t I be over this by now? What can I do?
Signed, Shaking in My Boots

Dear Shaking: This is so common; you’re not alone! I can think of at least four reasons why you’re so nervous.  

First, you’re not in control of what’s going to happen and that’s scary. Think about it. You can’t control the judge or opposing counsel or the witness or the clerk. You can’t control the outcome, but you think you’re responsible for it.

Second, the stakes are high. You’re representing someone’s interests and if you lose, your client is going to suffer and he won’t be happy. Plus, you might get blamed and/or not get paid and/or lose your job.

Third, you don’t know what you’re doing (yet). You need training and practice, and you need to know how to prepare.

Fourth, courtroom work is just not for you.

How to deal? Let’s look at each one.

1. The lack of control. As humans, we are wired to look out for our own safety. We feel like as long as we’re in control, it will be ok. (That’s not always true but it feels that way.) So, of course we don’t like it when someone else is in control.  

The answer here is acceptance of what you can’t control and knowing what you can control.  

Accept that you are not in control of the outcome. Just accepting that will help your brain stop fighting you and telling you to get control of that. You can’t control the outcome.
However, there are many things you can control: How prepared you are, how you conduct yourself, and how you react to the outcome.  All you can do is your very best, then accept the outcome (even when it doesn’t go your way).

2. High stakes. Yes, this job involves very high stakes, and it’s really hard! You’re dealing with people’s money, their business, their home, their children, sometimes even their freedom. The law is complex. There are so many facts and so many pieces of paper (so much paper!). Of course you’re nervous; it’s overwhelming.

But think about it this way: If you weren’t nervous, it would mean you didn’t care (or you’re just super experienced in which case you probably aren’t even reading this). So, when you’re nervous, it means you do care. And that’s a good thing because that’s the biggest part of your job: Caring about your client.

3. Not knowing what you’re doing.
Here’s where you have a lot of control. You can learn how to properly prepare, and you can get training.

While you can’t be experienced without getting experience, you can get some vicarious experience in other ways. It’s often true that younger associate attorneys in law firms aren’t allowed to go to court much, so they don’t gain the vital experience they need. Going to an occasional status conference isn’t going to prepare you for a complex motion hearing or a trial.  

Being as prepared as possible will help reduce the jitters. Here are 10 tips on how to prepare.

(1) Deep breathing. Take five slow, deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. This will calm your nervous system. Do it again.

(2) Make yourself a clear, succinct outline of your argument. If you panic and freeze up, you can read from it as a last resort.

(3) Read the file over and over again. Avoid being surprised.

(4) Practice your argument in front of a coach or trusted, seasoned attorney. Be open to feedback. Your ego is not your amigo here, you need to learn.

(5) Dress for success. Did you know that people form their first impressions of you within seven seconds? Judges are people and they are, well, judging you. So are jurors. The courtroom is a formal environment, so business-appropriate clothing is a must. Avoid casual, flashy, or revealing clothing and make sure it fits well and is not distracting. Keep your hair and appearance tidy. Presenting yourself professionally is a sign of respect for the court.

(6) Act congenially! Can you imagine being a judge and listening to attorneys sniping at each other all day? Yikes! The attorney who acts congenially will be a welcome relief. Plus, the California Rules of Professional Responsibility require this.  

(7) Memorize the Local Rules and the California Rules of Court. It’s your job to know these and violating them makes you look sloppy.

(8) Learn how to read the room. You know the judge is the one making the decisions, right? She’s the one you need to convince so watch how she is reacting. If the judge doesn’t seem convinced by your argument, you need to learn to change course.

(9) Watch experienced attorneys in court. Go on MS Teams and watch motion and trial calendars, or ask to go to court with a senior attorney from your office. Learn vicariously.

(10) Get additional education. Go to a trial academy. Attend trial advocacy MCLEs offered by the San Diego County Bar Association and other resources. 

4. You’re in the wrong job. The final reason for being terrified is that you’re in the wrong job. Self-reflect a bit. Are you an introvert? Hate confrontation? Are you bad at thinking on your feet? Then courtroom work is not for you. And that’s ok! Alignment is one of the three components of true happiness. (The others are contentment and control; see the “three-legged stool of happiness” theory by Dr. Rangan Chatterjee.) If your job doesn’t fit with who you are, you’re not going to be happy. There are many ways to be an attorney besides going to court; find a role that fits you.

Send your questions to Ask the Mentor at: Lesa@NewAttorneySecrets.com.

Lesa Christenson, CFLS, has been an attorney since 1985 and practices family law and mediation at ABC Family Law & Mediation, APC and Moore, Schulman & Moore, APC. She also teaches young attorneys the practice skills they need to excel in law firms through her training and coaching company, New Attorney Secrets.